Drowning in Emotions

June 20, 2015

12:40PM

I finished my first year of teaching.

I know you've been with me along the way.

I also want to be able to tell you about it.

You would be so proud of me.

It's tearing me up inside, knowing I can't tell you.

Daddy captures Jazmyne Danielle at Cincinnati Zoo with lion.

I have always spent summers with you.

Now that you're on vacation, what am I supposed to do?

I don't really want to go anywhere.

I think I would be content laying in my bed all summer.

And to think tomorrow is your day.

Just the thought makes me so anxious.

I should be honoring and acknowledging you for being GREAT.

Don't get me wrong.

I still will AND it's not the same.

Father's Day hike with family.

I tried to get a Father's Day card last weekend and I just couldn't do it.

I couldn't face picking out a card knowing that I cannot send it to you.

I wanted to get ballons, but I can't bring myself to do that either.

They say with time, it's supposed to get easier, but I don't feel like it's getting any easier.

It actully seems harder. You have a desire to fill and you can't fill it.

It's like the longer you are without, you desire it more.

Like a crackhead needing a fix, or in my case caffeine.

Without it, I am not very pleasant.

Jazmyne Danielle laying with Titan.

All I seem to want to do is lay around. I just want to be alone.

I am experiencing a whirlwind of emotions that I need to express.

You were the person I expressed to.

I guess I have to come to terms and realize you are anti-social and won't always answer me when I want to be answered. I guess I don't always get my way.

Love you!